I FUCKING TOLD YOU!

Talking to Rachael tonight I heard some troubling news...Nates ex-girlfriend has been telling Rachael and her family lies about me, to make them hate me and to have her break up with me...FUCK!..

LIE-The Lloyd has a ton of girlfriends
TRUTH-The Lloyd has had 2 serious girlfriends
LIE-The Lloyd thinks very highly of himself
TRUTH-I suck
LIE-When I get bored with girl I make her feel insecure
TRUTH-My last girlfriend had no idea I was breaking up with her, so she obviously didn't feel like that

If Nates ex-girlfriend wasn't such a fucking cunt, she would be able to see that those feeling probably came AFTER the GOD DAMN breakup!

I HATE Mayville people!...they all need to die...except for Rachael of course...

That bitch probably undid all the charm I did on her mom...now I have to win her back...FUCKING SHIT!

I told Nate when he was dating her that she was a bitch...when they broke up..bitch..when he wanted her back and she just played him...bitch...I hate her

I really like this girl...I mean REALLY like her...shes the best thing I have going right now, and this little cum dumpster feels the need to shit on it...fuck her.

Only one thing can cheer me up now...Bruce Springsteen...jungle land bitches

alright, im all vented

Isnt he 50?

Last night was the first time I met Rachael's parents. Her mom was automatically taken in by my witty charm and dashingly good looks, but her dad didn't seem so impressed. We were sitting on the couch watching a movie ( The Guardian...it wasn't that bad) and I had my arm around her...he comes into the room and just stares at me with pure hatred in his eyes.

You see, her last boyfriend messed her up pretty bad and it took a lot for her to get over it...your typical douchebag/jackoff asshole..but guys like that make me want to beat the living shit out of them...so I can understand where he is coming from, but still...im awesome, he SHOULD be able to see that...

We made sushi, and it was damn good...I told her that if she made it for Nate, she would immediately be accepted.

He called me today after work and talked to me about my grades...apparently I'm a fucking retard and can barely feed myself...mom and dad asked him to talk to me about it, proving that they don't think I listen to them when they talk...I DO listen to them, but because they talk to me about it all the time, it doesn't affect me anymore...if they would leave me alone for a while and just let me do it my way, I'm sure that my grades will improve...next year is senior year and, I guess, that its the easiest of the three.

So in the Guardian, Kevin Costner, is a coast guard rescue guy...the whole time I couldn't help thinking
Isn't that guy 50ish? He wouldn't be jumping into freezing water and swimming for miles at a time.
But the movie wasn't half bad, Netflix it.

Lights, Camera...

Well Nate reformatted my computer so I lost all my pictures and all the music I had on here...god damn it....

Last week he came home and left last night and, as if by instinct, was being a total douche to me basically the whole time...well except for when he left and I had to hold the door open for him....oh, and he tried to teach me WoW, which I couldn't understand for shit. In playing WoW, he took my internet connection away so I could not blog

Yesterday was the last day of the school play, Romea and Julian and that just made my life SO much better. I enjoy doing the play, but playing Shakespeare in high school just shouldn't be done, we cant handle it.

After the show, me and Rachael (girlfriend) went to go see a movie...we planned on going to Zodiac, but it wasn't playing in Hartford anymore and all the other movies looked like they were going to suck balls so I drove to West bend and the choices there were still not impressive. We settled on Night at the Museum, and it actually wasn't bad, if you like comedy and know a little something about history.

It has come to my attention that some of you took me last post as me being a racist...I am not a racist, im hilarious...there is a difference...racists go around belittling the "African American" community where as I go around making jokes about people who belittle the "African American" community...if you cant understand that...fuck off...im just kidding, read my blog please :)

...God damn it, I want my pictures back...

Black Asshole

In gym the other day, as a joke, I called the black kid in our class a black asshole...now I was kicking his ass at Badmitten so he was already pissed...so when I shout out SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BLACK ASSHOLE!!! it was not well received, but not by him, he was totally cool about it, but the sub we had that day was my city's mayor, and he didn't like it to much, he yelled at me, but I didn't get in trouble.

Thats when I realize it..I can swear all I want in school and I wont get in trouble...in History-Hitler was fucking crazy
Math-I dont understand this shit
Chemistry-Fuck off Mr. Doe, the Beatles rock the shit Food-Hey Mrs. Thomas, wanna fuck? (that didn't happen, because I would have had my balls removed...and shes as loose as Cartman's mom)
....Swearing fucking rules you ass sucking cock eaters...

Im going to see another movie tonight after dinner with my friend...Im going to eat meat and for those of you who are not Catholic, thats a no-no during lent, but I am in the transition form being a Catholic to a Unitarian Universalist so I dont think its bad

I have all next week off...no work...no feeding old people...no having to put up with shit eaters...thank you Lord...

This was my longest post yet...WO!

I hate you with ever inch of my being

$312...$312 is what it will cost me for passing a school bus...shit....

Today was not a good day all around...I had work and it totally sucked..the cook that I wanted to have kill herself didn't, bummer...I found out about the ticket...I had CCD and she still sucks balls (not literally of course...that would be sweet)

On the plus side Netflix came today and I got Starship Troopers and Sin City. The girl from ST is fucking hott. I'd do nasty things to her.

Nate comes home next week for spring break and he's bring World of Warcraft with him, that should be pretty fun...I'll hopefully have some pictures of a drunken Nate and myself by the end of next week.

Suck my Dick

What can I say?-Vodka

The ONLY black person in our school walked in today and sang at the top of his lungs
"I'm a hardcore nigger, suck my dick" and all of us were just laughing our asses off for several reasons

• About 2 weeks ago he played the race card in order to get out of trouble and we knew he was going to do it again
• Everyone goes silent
• The teachers had no fucking clue what to do, because he is black
  

A good way to tell how stupid people really are, just watch cops. This guy called the cops because the guy he was trying to buy cocaine from just sold him plaster, and he wanted his money back...of course the other guy said no it was really coke...the cop did nothing!

my thumb fucking hurts! I jammed it at work and started swearing my head off, I think I scared the cook...oh well, shes a bitch anyways, and if I offended her maybe she'll take that as a sign that no one wants her there and she'll quit...or maybe ever kill herself...is that going to far?

"I roll wit twelve gangs, whateva, I do what I want"

Smuckers lube

Peter-they were out of KY jelly so I got Smuckers

The question I have about this was: Would people actually buy Jelly in place of lube? Talking to a friend I realized, yes, people would DEFIANTLY buy it for the following reasons
1. People buy edible panties, which are about the same thing
2. People have sex with midgets, so they NEED lube
3. You can fuck your lady, then make a sandwich..every mans cream dream


People have been pressuring me to make decisions about my future and all I can think is...why the fuck should I? I'm only 17 and with the way medicine is advancing I truly beleive that I will live to be 500 years old...500 years old?..I'm a fucking idiot...

Get...out of my...flashback..you dirty Jew-Eric Cartman

Zodiac

I just got back from Zodiac with my friend, and it was totally tits. I recommend it to anyone who would like there socks blown off.

I busted the shit out of a few walls today, talk about a stress reliever

SMASH!-FUCK YOU BUSH!

SMASH!-FUCK YOU KIM!

SMASH!-FUCK YOU GLOBAL WARMING!

SMASH!-AND FUCK YOU BITCH!

Before my wall banging experience, which started at about 11, I watched about 3 or 4 hours of Band of Brothers and I found out, WWII sucked...there was death...Germans...people shitting on fox holes ( PUN ALLERT! talk about your shit holes)

This marks the fist post where I dont reference South Park...Dirty Jew...damn....

Big Bag Full of Douches

This has not been my year when it comes to cops. At the end of January I was going to help my brother out of the ditch when, about 50 feet away from him, I went in...what did the douche bag cop do? Gave me 4 points and a $200 ticket, thats what!

Two days ago, I was coming home from school when I got pulled over for going 15 over the limit...FUCK THAT, the only reason it was 15 was because kids were walking around, and if they were walking in the middle of the street, they deserved to be hit and die a painful death.

That same day I was on my way to work and there was a school bus ahead of me with the stop sign out and lights flashing, kids were getting off. Well I thought I could just turn seeing as the bus wasn't at all close to where I was turning...NO! I find out last night I'm getting a ticket for that to, and I dont have all that much money!

All a cop is, is a big bag fulled with used douches...douches that have been infected with AIDS

F'd in the A

I had CCD (religion) last night and, again it was a complete disaster. The "teacher" and I do not get along at all because I think that science has proven some things that the bible has said wrong, like the bible says that Jesus was an only son, but SCIENCE has said that he had a brother, and from different tests, they have proven it..but does she except this? NO!

She says I cant base my reasonings off of things I have read in the latest issue of National Geographic, so then I think she cant base hers off a book that is 2000 years old...FUCK! I have faith and all, but some things like that just dont add up.

I feel all bowling ballish

Another post?

i need help everyone...give me some tips on how this whole blog thing works, and for the love of god, help me make it look interesting



Prom is coming up, and I am a junior so ill will be going...for those of you who dont know me, i dont go to dances. If i wanted to listen to shitty music while people are crying over who danced with who, i could do that at home for free

On the plus side, i am going with one of my best friends, and her main selling point to get me to go was that her tits were going to look amazing, so of course i wasn't going to say no...who knows, maybe we'll get messed up enough to make some bad decisions that we will regret in the morning but feels oh so right at the time...it could happen...right?

To make things a little more interesting, im looking to buy a clear suit so that everyone can see my junk. It'll cost more, but it will be worth it

Texas Chili Bowl

Hello and welcome to the newest blog on the planet...by coming here you have proven you have absolutely nothing better to do, just as i have nothing better to do then to start a blog...right now my computer has a virus so don't know how frequent my posts will be for now (GOD DAMN IT I HATE FUCKING VIRUSES!)

i have Tourette's...no i dont...thats not funny

peace out players